One of my personal pet peeves as a kid growing up was when teachers or classmates would explain why certain things had to happen by falling back on the old saw: “Rules are rules.”

As a kid it seemed basic, trite, and not very informative.

As an adult who uses it more often than I probably know, it usually comes up when I don’t particularly want to explain something (or actually can’t explain it well, but still want to control the situation).

Even as a kid, I understood that some rules helped and organized us. Both then, and now, I don’t want to live in a world without rules.

But the dirty little truth is, “rules aren’t always rules”, no matter what parents or teachers say. Every rule has an exception, and every exception can be expanded. You should be mindful of the fact that what we perceive as an iron clad rule, can still be studied, explored, experimented upon and finally: changed.

Or as put more simply in your mom’s favorite Cinematic masterpiece:

In the recently concluded soccer season, I had two difficult realizations that what I had long assumed were the permanent rules, were in reality…guidelines.

The women of Grenoble were the first to face the new rules, and they fell on the foul side of things.

I thought the rules for the final standings would be the rules I’ve always known:

1. Of the 12 teams in Grenoble’s division, 1 would go up to Ligue 1, and two would go down to the national leagues.

Grenoble was 7th heading into the final match, so they should have been fine.

Except

The rules changed: Only six teams would be safe from relegation: the winners who went up to Ligue 1, and the five following sides. Everyone from seventh on down was heading to the national league.

Okay, I thought. That’s a big rule change, but if you’re going to make a single second division league, then this kind of cull will have to happen. So seventh isn’t good enough any more, but I know how they will move up in their spots past rival Albi Marsaac:

1. Get more points than your rival, basically win when your opponents lose (in this case, Albi lost while Grenoble got a draw, but I assumed there was still hope because)
2. Have a better goal difference than your rival…(in this case, Grenoble had a four goal cushion, and Albi’s loss made it even clearer, Grenoble wins!)
3. Have a better head-to-head record than you rival….(in this case, Albi won both of the games back in November…but it should be moot because Grenoble has the goal difference…right?)

Wrong.

In addition to the change in relegation, France decided to alter the final positions so that it was decided by, points earned (wins and losses), then head-to-head record, then goal difference.

In theory, I would have to say: okay, that tracks. I’m used to things working the other way, but I suppose this would be kind of a naturally embedded playoff happening within the league each and every week, and direct competition beats an average.

In reality, now that head-to-head record trumped goal difference, what theoretically made sense was profoundly unfair because it cost my preferred team.

I still can’t quite believe that the French Federation didn’t ask me about this rule change. I mean. The nerve! I am the foremost French Women’s Second Division Blogger in the Upper Midwest! And they didn’t ask MOI?!?…sorry French Federation, that was sarcasm.

But in the highlands, another rule change served our team very well.

Again I thought the rules were the rules. Ross County had to play Partick Thistle both at home and the road, with the result being decided the way I always knew.

1. Combine the scores over the two games and the team who is ahead overall wins. (In this case, it ended County 3, Thistle 3)
2. If tied, the team that scores more away goals wins (Thistle 2, County 0…and pbbbt go the Staggies)
3. If tied on away goals, there’s a final tiebreaker of penalty kicks (but as noted above…the Stags already went pbbbt)

I’ve already recapped the wildness of County’s final game, but I truly was despondent seeing them comeback to tie it up only to think…but that one Partick Thistle goal made all the difference.

But the rules weren’t the rules.

Scotland had chucked the away goals rule, which enabled all that followed, including the celebrations in a quiet corner of St. Paul, Minnesota.

(Again, on theoretical reflection: I can see why scoring on the road is harder than scoring at home and thus worth some extra credit, but it also feels like a pretty meager argument as opposed to say…winning games).

These may seem like silly little case studies, and they are. But they both highlight a truth: we want to protect rules that help us, and are ready to chuck the rules that don’t.

Protect the rule that would have spared Grenoble; chuck the rule that would have cost County.

After all, rules are rules, but I’d like them to be more like guidelines.

It comes up outside of soccer too:

At the start of this month, the rules changed for me, and for the dozens of people who work with me.

Dear Boys,

Our school, though its prone to bat infestations and crumbling…everything…has done well. Students have made major growth in their learning. Families have reported that the staff is engaged, caring, and committed to the community. You boys have been able to join in, and play merrily with colleagues and kids (as shown by the bouncy slide pictured here). Our school, despite some real problems, consistently rate as the best school in our little crew of four buildings. And the rules of schools make it pretty clear that you don’t close schools that do well.

But rules of schools also say, you have to make do with what little you have.

Rather than paying for us to stay in the ramshackle old school, our group of schools closed the building I worked in. To follow one rule, they had to break another. And so, the team of educators who worked so well together has been somewhat scattered. The emotions that get so tied up in a place were buffeted this way and that.

But my colleagues were still hurt. They wanted to protect the rule that would have kept us safe, and ignore the rule that broke us up.

Rules aren’t rules.

And hard as it is, when rules change, when they morph or adapt or turn into “guidelines” there’s not a whole lot you can do.

Grenoble will play in the lower league next year.

Ross County will stay in the top league no matter what Partick Thistle prefers.

My colleagues and I will teach in an odd little niche of another building come August.

I do believe that all will be well. You don’t need to be in one place to be a quality teacher. The place doesn’t make the school, the people do, and while I will miss those people who have moved on, I’m ready to help those who remain. (Just as I’m sure, Grenoble’s ladies will be motivated to get back to the upper league.)

Things change, and it’s important to be ready to change with it.

Changes happen and much as we predict perfection, or fear the unknown, we won’t know until we see it–it’s an experiment, and because rules aren’t rules…they’re more like…guidelines…we can change them and change them and change them again.