Tag: Kids Talk

Boys Talk: January ’25

Boys Talk: January ’25

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In an effort to include more of all the MacKenzie Boys and less of just this MacKenzie Boy, I’m going to try to include more soccer centric questions that Alex and Owen take turns answering.

This month: while taking the boys to soccer practices with our local club, I’ve noticed that they very much enjoy a wide assortment of games and training activities that center on animal style behavior: crab walk tackles, snake tag, snapping alligator legs, etcetera. So I decided to ask the boys one clear question:

What animal powers do you think would most help you play soccer?

Owen’s Soccer Spirit

Owen: Crocodile…cuz then it could just snap…or just say “…nnnnyeahh….I don’t care” and then shred the ball into pieces. Kinda like how I don’t care about scrimmages. I just like the practice and the games like “ships across the ocean”. I’d be the same way, I’d just be like, “I don’t care…I’m just gonna scratch this thing: shikkk, goodbye ball!!” I think a crocodile would be good at ships across the ocean, because there would be water. Oh yeah, and it would be good at tackles! It’ would just be like “I don’t care! Snap, and tackle them!!”)

Alex’s Soccer Spirit

Alex: I’d want to be a dog, but not just one dog. I’d like to be an animagus dog, like in Harry Potter, and have the power to turn into all sorts of different dogs! I could be little like our dog Sidney, or big like grandma and grandpa’s dog Gida. And for soccer…hmmm…I think I would…uh…I would want to be a big dog like gida [Ed: An Italian Spinoni] but a little more coordinated.

Papa: I definitely appreciate the boys’ perspective on this. I think my favorite animals also have a major influence on my choices as well. I’m certainly tempted to name a tiger as they’re both aggressive and stealthy, but I think my natural predilection for defensive plays leads me to pick the Bison. I like the combination of being strong enough to overpower attackers and fast enough to keep up with them. Also, I’m quite aware that the Bison’s role as my high school mascot has made playing for the team the unattained ideal of my own truncated soccer career. (Bonus point: One of my favorite players, Ghanaian midfielder Michael Essien, was nicknamed “Le Bison” for his style of play, not his connection to Great Falls High…although…if he wanted a coaching job…)

My Soccer Spirit
This Is Why You Stay to the End

This Is Why You Stay to the End

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This year, after a long, cold winter, the promise of spring began to bud as the American soccer season opened.

Sorry…I meant to say after an indeterminable and clearly climate changed winter, the weather felt exactly the same as the American soccer season opened.

And this year, I went with Alex.

Dear Boys,

It was not a great game. The Loons, fortunate winners the previous week, faced the reigning champions: The Columbus Crew. Our team was shorthanded, with several players working up to fitness, and we were limited to a temporary set of tactics from their caretaker manager. So it wasn’t surprising that the local eleven seemed stuck in the first half. The biggest cheer for most of the game came when former Loon Christian Ramirez made his first appearance at Allianz Field and was welcomed warmly by the long time fans…making a competitive match feel rather friendly.

It was great to see him return, to celebrate a player who was widely loved in the community. But he also clearly added a bit of danger to the Columbus. And then…the champions took the lead. The Loons quickly look deflated, but the sun was shining and our fries were salty so Alex and I stayed on to watch the end of the match.

That’s when we got our reward:

The stadium erupted, our section erupted, we screamed like we’d won even though it was only a draw. “This,” I shouted over the chaos, “is why you stay until the end.”

It’s a kind of perseverance, enduring the long slog of a game, or a season for the sake of one magical moment. It’s a passive perseverance, not the kind of spiritual struggle of long-standing activists, or the physical slog athletes go through. But fandom might be the best training wheel version of perseverance that we have.

There are always opportunities to walk away. Fans can leave the stadium. We can turn off the games. We can ignore the sports pages. And honestly, there’s nothing inherently wrong with it. Stepping away from things can protect you from injury or harm.

But perseverance can be rewarded with moments that offer real catharsis.

The Loons, against the odds continued trying to find the goal, despite the various limitations that could have justified a defeat.

Christian Ramirez had innumerable opportunities to step away from the game. When he didn’t get a professional opportunity on his first attempt. When he was hung out to dry by the Loons prior manager (who never seemed to appreciate the talent on the sideline). When his trip to Europe was undermined by managerial upheaval. When his family grew and his career path was uncertain.

But he has a League Championship medal and he received a rapturous ovation from fans who saw him start and have admired him even after he left us behind.

However the story ends, if you stick around till the end you can appreciate it all the more. Whether it ends with one point in the standings, a hero’s return, or just celebrating with your kid/dad. These are special moments, and they’re made all the more special if you persevere to see them through. If it’s this fun to watch others persevere, just wait till you get to do it yourself.

On Plops, Injuries, and Good Things

On Plops, Injuries, and Good Things

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I truly enjoy sharing what thoughts you boys have, even if your future selves might rather I not log your childhood musings quite so publicly.

Dear Boys,

This year, with the pandemic more clearly behind us, and with vaccinations empowering your anti-bodies, taking you to games finally became a possibility. I was delighted to take you, thrilled to have some quality personal time just papa and a boy.

You really liked gummy worms.

That was your major take away from soccer matches: that’s where gummy worms come from.

If there’s one thing you noticed about the play on the field it’s that–sometimes–people plop down.

Owen in particularly seemed taken with the collapses and injuries (both genuine and simulated), and while it seems an odd thing to learn from, I feel like there is a lesson there. (This whole blog could be renamed “odd things to learn from” but I digress)

On a blustery summer’s day, Owen and I watched the Loons play the Houston Dynamo, only to see winger Franco Frangapane fall to the earth just as we prepared to leave the match.

We paused, Owen bouncing on my hip to look out and watch the ensuing free kick, a shot that came ricocheting off of Emmanuel Reynoso’s foot, and then Fabrice-Jean Picault’s backside, and thence into the net.

Good things can come: even from ouchies.

It’s easy to assume that if something hurts, it’s bad.

If something isn’t fun, it’s bad.

If you don’t like something it’s bad.

It’s a common thread of critique, complaint and general dissatisfaction. At a time when you can have just about anything you want whenever you want, learning that something that seems bad can lead to something better is important.

Maybe Owen was already primed for that lesson after discovering a new found passion for that hallmark of toddler obsession: Frozen.

The whole movie hinges on characters loathing something that hurts or causes pain, and rushing headlong towards what gives them pleasure. Elsa hates having ice powers. Her parents get her to hide them. She tries to avoid it with everything she has. Meanwhile her sister, Anna, aka Owen’s new favorite stuffed friend, stops talking to Elsa. She jumps head long into an engagement with a man she had met just moments before and who she can only describe as “dreamy”.

But the rush for pleasure put Anna at risk (her suitor turns out to be a duplicitous dinkwad), and the ultimate salvation comes courtesy of Elsa and her powers. Her powers are what makes good things (Olaf, the aforementioned dinkwad’s come-uppance) possible.

So I suppose it was appropriate that Owen spent the match with Anna in his hands, even for the Wonderwall chants.

I hope you know, that gummy worms are great…but so are plops.

KISS

KISS

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I have taken Alex with me to matches throughout his life. Even at under a year old, he was wrapped up in a baby carrier, being toted through a stadium filled with shouts and screams all so he could be present for the events.

Dear Boys,

And yet, he mostly slept or cried.

In the years since, he’s become more of an afficianado. He will ask to watch with me from time to time. He truly enjoys wearing his Loons gear, and he’s even started attending and adoring soccer training at pre-school: Soccer Shots. (Quoth the coach: “Alex shows growing ability at scoring goals!)

So heading back into the stadium this year, the first year of confident-Post-COVID attendance, I was hoping to see if he had developed a more refined appreciation of the game: more understanding of nuance and interest in both what happened with the ball and what happened away from it. The match didn’t disappoint: Luis Amarilla netted twice, Bongokuhle Hlongwane got his first goal at home to raucous applause, and the opposing Portland Timbers matched the Loons every step of the way. Surely, I thought, this will create a deep and multifaceted love of the game in Alex.

Alex’s take away: the gummy worms at the stadium are really good. And celebrating goals is fun!


It might sound like I’m making fun, but the truth is, I really envy how clearly Alex can see things. I want to hold on to that idea, I want to come back to it again and again.

As someone who can make absolutely everything overwrought, I need to remember that Alex’s approach is often the best. Keep it Simple, Son.

(Okay, that’s not the usual acronym, but I’m actively trying to avoid name calling, even towards myself)

You can worry about the pace, or the marking strategy. You can worry over the expressions you use and whether or not you have anybody reading your work.

In all that worrying, in all that cogitating, you can lose sight of the thing that you actively want to do.

Score goals.

Write.

In short, just be. And Alex already understands that.

Keep it simple, son.

Leaving things late

Leaving things late

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After a glorious summer of scintillating soccer, the Loons losing streak put the playoffs in peril.

I’m no stranger to late rushes to finish a job. You can’t be around students for most of your working life and not see frantic efforts to complete assignments, tests, even prom date arrangements.

There’s nothing wrong with late work. and nothing inherently better about quick completions. If nothing else the make or break moments force you to do something you can always benefit from: focus on the present moment alone.

Dear Boys

It’s an immensely valuable skill: one that can seem at odds with meeting all the expectations of scheduling and planning and executing vital plans to complete projects. But in reality, if you are present, truly present in the moment, you are living your life to the fullest.

Mender in a more acrobatic moment

Owen summed this up beautifully as we watched the game. Loons’ right wing Mender Garcia, stopped running and sat on the pitch. He was one of many who had paused play in the middle of a strenuous and stressful competition. More than a few fans were tired of the breaks in play. We heard grown men around us complain and moan about time wasting, or bad calls, or angling for a foul call.

Owen took a look at this and gave his opinion, “I think he just needs a break.”

I loved that idea.

I loved the notion, that a professional athlete might be, at core, an over-sized two year old: taking a break when he needed it. The biggest difference was that the professional athlete could sit down in frustration, or fatigue, or injury without flailing his legs and calling everyone a poop-butt.

Only the player knew for sure why he was doing it. He’d likely never tell the fans. I hope that in that moment, Mender got what he needed. He certainly seemed to be ok, but uncomfortable. I hope that he could feel where his body was at and what it needed. I’m sure that he found some of the strength he needed to continue on, at least until he was replaced about ten minutes in to the second half. But no matter what else, I hope that he had a moment to work through the pain and just be where he was and know what he was doing for one (relatively) quiet moment.

Zen and the art of Gummy Bears

I saw that same feeling creep over Owen as he munched on gummi-worms and admired the extra long tv screen above the end line. He watched the action on the screen, drinking it deeply. In all the noise and pressure and everything else, he just enjoyed his gummy worm, and the beating of the drums, and simply let it be.

The Loons ended up making the most of the moment. I don’t know as any of them would tell you that they did it because they were truly present in the moment. I doubt that they would blame their losing streak prior to this match as the result of ignoring the best practices of Zen philosophy. But this isn’t about what literally happened, that’s all in the box score. This is about what we learn, and in the midst of the break in a losing streak, and a sunny afternoon chewing gummy worms with my son, I felt more than ever how important appreciating that one moment really is.