I write a lot about sports. This despite the fact that I’m about as athletically gifted as a stalk of wheat. I’ve never been athletic. I was frequently the last one picked in just about any sport you can name. Even “Red Rover” didn’t bother calling me over.

Still, I love the thrill of competition, and when I found distance running, I found a sport that I could excel at and enjoy. I mentioned this briefly to a colleague during a pre-school-year training. 5 minutes later, I was officially a school’s track and cross country coach.

While my new side-gig was absolutely accidental, it was also one of the most enjoyable parts of my work day. For 60+ minutes each day I could run, share the fun of running with students, and learn about them beyond the context of the classroom.

The biggest thing I learned was that my students always wanted to win. Their goals were to win. To be the best.

Those goals were stupid.

Wanting to be the best isn’t stupid, but setting your goal as something that you don’t control is absolutely ridiculous. So I worked with students, athletes, and some day I’ll work with you too on one simple idea. Keep your goals within your control.

This all came to mind watching Minnesota United fall to defeat in the MLS is Back tournament. Again and again you can hear fans or coaches saying that the team has to set a goal around winning, winning, winning. But they can’t control winning. They can’t control if one of their best defenders (Romain Metanire) gets an injury. Or if they can only replace him with an out of position midfielder (Hasani Dotson). Or if their opponent fields a former Portugese international who happens to have one of his best games in America (Nani).

Winning isn’t in the Loons’ control. Trophies aren’t in their control. Nani isn’t in their control…I mean…unless they hypnotize him. (Note to self: learn hypnotism, then offer services to MNUFC, if turned down, hypnotize MNUFC into offering job.)

But the team can control how they position and react on set pieces. They can control how they track and mark in defense to start counter-attacks. They can control how they act on scouting information that helps you identify dynamic talents like Metanire and Dotson.

As I like distance running, I could set a goal to win the Twin Cities Marathon. That’s an admirable goal, but it also isn’t in my control. I can control how I run sure, but I can’t control how the other thousands of runners train, or run, or hydrate, or don’t. I might attain the goal of first place (if I had start training about 30 years ago), but I don’t really have control over it.

But when I set my goal of maintaining steady 8 minute splits, that’s something that would mark improvement for me. It would put me in the top 10% of runners, and it was something that I could control, regardless of the other runners around me. (Humble Brag: I actually kept them closer to 7:30)

In the same way the Loons can control aspects of the game rather than the final outcome, I could control my pace times, and my cross country team could control saving their energy for final kicks.

Set your goals around what you can control and good things happen. Metanire and Dotson and Jan Gregus led a team that few talked about before the season to a final four finish. I am in the 90th percentile for marathoners. My team of runners loved the ends of races and were proud when they broke the tape.

So whatever you boys choose to do (be it sports or 100% not sports), set your goal around things you can control. You’ll be proud of what you do, whether there’s a trophy in the end or not.