Tag: Education

83. New Season, New-Ish You

83. New Season, New-Ish You

by scruffyrube ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

There’s always a slightly sad air to the end of Summer. The days get shorter. The freedom gets staler. The brightest greens and liveliest flowers start to droop and fade.

But it’s also an exciting time of year. For all the ends and declines, there are many important starts at hand.

That’s especially true in our household. Alex is starting kindergarten. I’m going back into full classroom teaching. And teams around the world are starting new seasons.

Now isn’t just the time for things around us to change, it’s time to see our world and ourselves with fresh eyes.

Dear Boys,

At the start of the year every soccer team is handed a clean slate. The league table is a beautiful string of zeroes. You can write your team down at the top of the league for possibly the only time all year.

In the classroom, the white boards and chalkboards seem totally unblemished, and you can imagine anything and everything on them. Before you walk into the room, you can imagine uncovering any number of universal secrets inside its walls, even the mystery of friendship, or the perfect fart joke, or how to write an “R”.

All of those possibilities exist because, during the summer, your time and mind was consumed with day to day doing and being. The previous school year or football season has just been gestating in your brain, mellowing, maturing, leaving behind ingrained skills and important areas for growth that you will now leap at with full enthusiasm.

Alex is hesitant to fail, but can, more often than not sound out the letters in simple Consanant/Vowel/Consonant words (“hop”, “but”, “red”, etc.).

I am leery of collapsing into bad habits, but I’m also more prepared to accept my limitations and work with less obsession in my grading and more gratitude in my everything else.

Guittieriez (Quadratin Oaxaca)

Our favorite teams are in new situations as well. Alebrijes brings their new coach Carlos Guitierrez with a new style into the mix. Freiburg will have high hopes for the new striker Junior Adamu, possibly being the dribbling, penetrating attacker that frees up Vincenzo Grifo to do more than feed the ball into the box. The Griz will have new keepers to audition including, fingers crossed, our favorite Aurora/Grizz Bayliss Flynn.

With all this new-ness you can feel like its time to start over.

But it isn’t.

Don’t let the smolder deceive you…I wasn’t feeling good.

Yes it’s a new season. Yes it’s a new opportunity. Yes, you have new skills, and talents, and ideas…but you are still you. You still have the same history, the same memories, the same triumphs and tragedies.

Carlos Guitierrez doesn’t get to mind-wipe all of Oaxaca’s old habits. Freiburg still has a recent habit of fading out of top spots at the end of the year. I will always remember the hard, cold, charred sensation that came with another sheaf of essays weighing down my bag and sitting heavily on my conscious with guilty self-critique because I didn’t do enough to help every kid improve.

And Alex still wants to use whatever he learns to build and control a dinosaur robot. Chris Citowicki still manages to coax epic goalkeeping outings from the scholars who stand in Missoula.

This is a new season, just as last year was once new, and the year before that, and the one before that.

We struggled and we grew then. We will struggle and grow now.

It’s a new season, and a new-ish you, a new-ish me, a new-ish team. We have an opportunity to start again, with both our talents and our flaws to guide us. This new season, this new school-year, might be great, it might be hard, but it will definitely be what we make of it.

81. Rules Aren’t Rules

81. Rules Aren’t Rules

by scruffyrube ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

One of my personal pet peeves as a kid growing up was when teachers or classmates would explain why certain things had to happen by falling back on the old saw: “Rules are rules.”

As a kid it seemed basic, trite, and not very informative.

As an adult who uses it more often than I probably know, it usually comes up when I don’t particularly want to explain something (or actually can’t explain it well, but still want to control the situation).

Even as a kid, I understood that some rules helped and organized us. Both then, and now, I don’t want to live in a world without rules.

But the dirty little truth is, “rules aren’t always rules”, no matter what parents or teachers say. Every rule has an exception, and every exception can be expanded. You should be mindful of the fact that what we perceive as an iron clad rule, can still be studied, explored, experimented upon and finally: changed.

Or as put more simply in your mom’s favorite Cinematic masterpiece:

In the recently concluded soccer season, I had two difficult realizations that what I had long assumed were the permanent rules, were in reality…guidelines.

The women of Grenoble were the first to face the new rules, and they fell on the foul side of things.

I thought the rules for the final standings would be the rules I’ve always known:

  1. Of the 12 teams in Grenoble’s division, 1 would go up to Ligue 1, and two would go down to the national leagues.

Grenoble was 7th heading into the final match, so they should have been fine.

Except

The rules changed: Only six teams would be safe from relegation: the winners who went up to Ligue 1, and the five following sides. Everyone from seventh on down was heading to the national league.

Okay, I thought. That’s a big rule change, but if you’re going to make a single second division league, then this kind of cull will have to happen. So seventh isn’t good enough any more, but I know how they will move up in their spots past rival Albi Marsaac:

  1. Get more points than your rival, basically win when your opponents lose (in this case, Albi lost while Grenoble got a draw, but I assumed there was still hope because)
  2. Have a better goal difference than your rival…(in this case, Grenoble had a four goal cushion, and Albi’s loss made it even clearer, Grenoble wins!)
  3. Have a better head-to-head record than you rival….(in this case, Albi won both of the games back in November…but it should be moot because Grenoble has the goal difference…right?)

Wrong.

In addition to the change in relegation, France decided to alter the final positions so that it was decided by, points earned (wins and losses), then head-to-head record, then goal difference.

In theory, I would have to say: okay, that tracks. I’m used to things working the other way, but I suppose this would be kind of a naturally embedded playoff happening within the league each and every week, and direct competition beats an average.

In reality, now that head-to-head record trumped goal difference, what theoretically made sense was profoundly unfair because it cost my preferred team.

I still can’t quite believe that the French Federation didn’t ask me about this rule change. I mean. The nerve! I am the foremost French Women’s Second Division Blogger in the Upper Midwest! And they didn’t ask MOI?!?…sorry French Federation, that was sarcasm.

But in the highlands, another rule change served our team very well.

Again I thought the rules were the rules. Ross County had to play Partick Thistle both at home and the road, with the result being decided the way I always knew.

  1. Combine the scores over the two games and the team who is ahead overall wins. (In this case, it ended County 3, Thistle 3)
  2. If tied, the team that scores more away goals wins (Thistle 2, County 0…and pbbbt go the Staggies)
  3. If tied on away goals, there’s a final tiebreaker of penalty kicks (but as noted above…the Stags already went pbbbt)

I’ve already recapped the wildness of County’s final game, but I truly was despondent seeing them comeback to tie it up only to think…but that one Partick Thistle goal made all the difference.

But the rules weren’t the rules.

Scotland had chucked the away goals rule, which enabled all that followed, including the celebrations in a quiet corner of St. Paul, Minnesota.

(Again, on theoretical reflection: I can see why scoring on the road is harder than scoring at home and thus worth some extra credit, but it also feels like a pretty meager argument as opposed to say…winning games).

These may seem like silly little case studies, and they are. But they both highlight a truth: we want to protect rules that help us, and are ready to chuck the rules that don’t.

Protect the rule that would have spared Grenoble; chuck the rule that would have cost County.

After all, rules are rules, but I’d like them to be more like guidelines.

It comes up outside of soccer too:

At the start of this month, the rules changed for me, and for the dozens of people who work with me.

Dear Boys,

Our school, though its prone to bat infestations and crumbling…everything…has done well. Students have made major growth in their learning. Families have reported that the staff is engaged, caring, and committed to the community. You boys have been able to join in, and play merrily with colleagues and kids (as shown by the bouncy slide pictured here). Our school, despite some real problems, consistently rate as the best school in our little crew of four buildings. And the rules of schools make it pretty clear that you don’t close schools that do well.

But rules of schools also say, you have to make do with what little you have.

Rather than paying for us to stay in the ramshackle old school, our group of schools closed the building I worked in. To follow one rule, they had to break another. And so, the team of educators who worked so well together has been somewhat scattered. The emotions that get so tied up in a place were buffeted this way and that.

But my colleagues were still hurt. They wanted to protect the rule that would have kept us safe, and ignore the rule that broke us up.

Rules aren’t rules.

And hard as it is, when rules change, when they morph or adapt or turn into “guidelines” there’s not a whole lot you can do.

Grenoble will play in the lower league next year.

Ross County will stay in the top league no matter what Partick Thistle prefers.

My colleagues and I will teach in an odd little niche of another building come August.

I do believe that all will be well. You don’t need to be in one place to be a quality teacher. The place doesn’t make the school, the people do, and while I will miss those people who have moved on, I’m ready to help those who remain. (Just as I’m sure, Grenoble’s ladies will be motivated to get back to the upper league.)

Things change, and it’s important to be ready to change with it.

Changes happen and much as we predict perfection, or fear the unknown, we won’t know until we see it–it’s an experiment, and because rules aren’t rules…they’re more like…guidelines…we can change them and change them and change them again.

63. Inherent Parenting

63. Inherent Parenting

by scruffyrube ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

In the last month, Alex has started at a new school. We didn’t expect to move you into a new spot so soon after returning to school, but as parents we know that we can’t control other people, only ourselves.

Surprisingly, that’s not an easy thing to keep in mind. It’s especially hard in our current cultural climate.

Let me explain.

Right now, we’re surrounded by the germs. Yes, still those germs. The ones I wrote about 18 months ago. I’ve been surrounded of late by sick colleagues and inured students and a lingering sense that it’s probably going to get worse before it gets better.

Alex’s school was non-plussed, and unwilling to admit that they might be wrong about how they handle it. This made your mom quite upset. What made me frustrated was the blithe assumption that they couldn’t possibly be wrong.

The teachers at Alex’s school aren’t alone. The thoughts are echoed every where, especially in the sports world.

A top basketball player (who attended one of the country’s best colleges, Duke) refuses to be vaccinated. Same with an elite quarterback (who also attended a great school, Cal-Berkley), he frankly gets extra credit awfulness for working in a bag-full of lies about it in interviews. Soccer players around the world are no different, but there doesn’t seem to be many on our favorite teams (it’s not clear if cases in Minnesota and Ross County broke through the vaccine’s barriers or just the regular shoddy defense of both sides).

After 18 months of these germs, many, many, MANY of us are tired. Your mom and I made the choice to do whatever we could to protect you two. After all, you couldn’t get a vaccine. You couldn’t control who came around you, so we opted to do what we could: staying home, getting vaccinated, masking 99% of the places we go (grandma and grandpa do the same, which is why we feel safe being unmasked there).

Klopp (R) Loves a cuddle

The Liverpool coach, and human Gummi Bear, Jurgen Klopp said it extremely well:

“I don’t take the vaccination only to protect me, I take the vaccination to protect all the people around me. I don’t understand why that is a limitation of freedom because, if it is, then not being allowed to drink and drive is a limitation of freedom as well. I got the vaccination because I was concerned about myself but even more so about everybody around me.

Jurgen Klopp (as reported in The Guardian)

But there’s one thing I can’t bring myself to do. I find that I can’t be mad at them. I can’t summon the anger or bitterness that I hear from my colleagues or my friends.

I can’t do it because I recognize that this moment, this assumption of superior knowledge, this misguided belief that running a school or excelling in athletics precludes you from being told what to do by scientific experts is not inherently bad: it’s just an inherent flaw.

Dear Boys,

Too often we get consumed with a black and white vision of the world. We often lean back on assumptions that people are inherently good , or inherently bad. If we can emphasize that we are all inherently flawed, trying our best, and worth challenging with compassion, I think we will be better able to serve one another and move forward together.

To those who insist on the image of themselves as inherently good, we see an assumption that they couldn’t have caused offense. They could not be misinformed. They must be defending their freedom against group think. Anyone who says otherwise is willfully misunderstanding their positive intent and freedom.

To those who insist on the image of our fellow citizens as inherently bad, we see an assumption that there is always malice lurking in the shadows. There’s a desire to lift up oneself and undercut others no matter the cost. There is cold, callous, and cruel calculations in every action or inaction that takes place. Anyone who says otherwise enables the worst among us.

I know that both of those are false. I know because I have spent too much of my life ping-ponging between the two views about myself. I’ve felt like a saint, nobly martyred on the altar of misunderstandings. I’ve seen myself as a vile worm, disgustingly seeking self gain at the cost of my community.

But it’s not true. I’m neither inherently good nor inherently bad. I am (like you, and your friends, family, teachers, sports heroes, and everyone else) flawed.

My flaws arise everywhere, but especially in short temper, which I know you’ve both seen more often than I would like. But I hope that you can forgive me. I hope that you understand that I try, I fail, I try again. And that you can do the same.

I hope the same for those who stamp their feet in a petulant anti-vaccine streak and those who berate the anti-vaxxers for extending our challenges. We try to do right, we fail, we try again.

Athletes try to do right for themselves. Ignoring the science to endanger teammates and fans by transmitting or catching the disease themselves, they fail. I hope they try again.

Alex’s teachers try do right for themselves and their school. Believing that it’s masks are too much trouble, assuming that the way things are now will remain consistent long into the future is a failure. I hope they try to learn again.

Your mom and I opting to do what we can to protect you feels right. If it becomes a failure, I know we will try again.

I hope that’s the lesson you take.