Category: Kids Talk
Boys Talk: October
44. The Dark Arts
Dear Boys,
Halloween seems as appropriate a time as any to talk about something soccer fans all know about, but don’t much like discussing. Like the boogy-man, only, you know, real.
Soccer’s dark arts, the dirty plays, the unpleasant habits that can win a match, but may cost you your very footballing soul.

It might be a dramatic dive to the ground to pretend you’re injured when you’re not. It might be bone rattling tackles and tugs of jerseys to impede progress. They are not pretty, they are not pleasant, but they are, unfortunately, effective.
They’re common, and it stinks when an opponent uses them to their advantage and your detriment. Every time it happens it invites an excuse for your own poor behavior. It becomes a natural excuse that “well if our opponents are doing it, we should too”. You start to think you ought to fight fire with fire.
To that argument I say, nothing is worth letting the whole world burn.
Take Franco Arizala. The Oaxaca striker must be frustrated by his side’s struggles. We feel frustrated and we are neither Oaxacans nor professional athletes out to prove our abilities.
Arizala shifted the tide in the match against Pumas through one of those dramatic dives. Rushing ahead with only the keeper in his way he opted to collapse as the goalie slid in rather than attempt to hurdle, or chip or score directly.
The keeper’s red card weakened Pumas, and the ensuing stunner of a free kick opened the scoring. But helpful as three points are, effective as Arizala’s dive was, it’s not the same as a well worked goal, or a team effort for Arizala to assist a teammate charging ahead. That teamwork could help not just shift the tide of a match but of a season.

Serbia’s well known for its bruising physicality. Artful offense will always be secondary to dark-artful defending. I appreciate that FK Vozdovac tries to attack gracefully, and I understand that allowing opponents to cut out your teammates legs isn’t tolerable. But the harshness of the Serbian game is part of what slows its development.
If, instead of spending ten minutes a match in altercations with opponents after a foul, players played, then Serbia might develop a more fluid style, or at least seem more inviting to talented foreigners unwilling to sacrifice their calves for a paycheck. If the Red Dragons flew as much as they breathe fire, they could be much more.
All this second guessing and idealization comes from the greatest sport for idealized hypotheticals: politics.
I’ve written a lot this year about political views, campaigns, animus, because, as with the virus, it’s swept away most other headlines. But it also has been a time for reckoning with who I am and what I want.
Many of my friends are tired of incrementalism, tired of aspirational rhetoric that falls far short of tangible goals. If opponents will lie, oppress, incite hatred, and absolve themselves of accountability for the sake of their end goals, then why waste time trying to fight the good fight.
We’re in a fight. Just fight already.
Except, if what matters is the result then you can justify doing anything. We can lie and oppress and hate and refuse accountability with the best of them. Except if that’s all we do then things never really change. Whatever end results we think we win will just be lied about, oppressed in return and used to incite further hate.

It’s not just about the win in the short term, it’s about the revolution in the long term. It’s not about getting the result I want right now, it’s about disrupting the system so we can all help build a new one.
I get that it’s hard to think long term when you’re bottom of the table, or a perpetual also ran in the league, or face to face with an incredibly consequential election. But we can do both. We can win now while redefining what it takes to win later.
We can vanquish the dark arts. But only if we eradicate the practice and not just excoriate the practitioners. We can win on the pitch and in politics through principle and patience. It’s not the matter of one play, one game, or one election. It’s a lifetime’s work.
Boys Talk: August
Boys Talk: June (Delayed)
Boys Talk: May
Boys Talk: April
Boys Talk: March
The most recent matches feel like they were a geological age ago. But the boys still have thoughts about our local XI. Hopefully we’ll have a match to talk about again in April.
12. For Good and for Ill
It’s cancelled. Almost all of it.
Corona virus 2019, a sickness that gives a bad cough, an achy body, and a high fever, is all around the world.
It doesn’t care who you are, how old you are, where your family is from or whether or not you can handle it.
It is scary because you can have it and not know. You can pass it along and not know. You can be sick, think it’s something else, and accidentally hurt someone else. That not knowing, that uncertainty makes lots of things you take for granted suddenly uncertain and unsafe.
So, soccer pitches and stadiums, where people sneeze on you, cough near you, or spit in your direction, aren’t as safe as we thought. And to be careful, leagues are postponing or canceling games to keep people safe.

I know it’s the right thing to do, but still, I’m disappointed. I was excited to go back to see the Loons. There was a game in two weeks I thought the whole family could go to. Even as the disease got stronger I thought we could risk it: I’m healthy. You boys are not at risk. We could go, have fun, and be none the worse.
But we shouldn’t even if we could. Even if we’d be okay, we need to do what’s best for the others around us.
Maybe we’d go and nothing would happen. Or maybe one of us would catch it. If we caught it we could get a grandma sick, or we could pass it to a friend who got their grandpa sick, or we could pass it to a friend who could pass it to a neighbor who could get sick. There’s no way to know. And our fun shouldn’t be more important than one one else’s safety.
So, hard as it is to give up our fun. We should do it.

Each of the 11 clubs we follow is taking a break.
Emelec and FK Vazdovac might be back this weekend (or might not). Freiburg, Punjab FC, Oaxaca, and Grenoble might come back at the start of April. Minnesota and Rosenberg are taking a month delay. Legon Cities, Ross County, and Montana…nobody knows.
The only teams still planning to play (as of now) are Vozdovac, Oaxaca, and Legon Cities. All three of them are also still considering options. But in the mean time we can enjoy them from afar and appreciate their play like we appreciate those who choose not to.
This is our world right now, and these are the people we need to take care of: for good and for ill.
Boys Talk: February
Your MacKenzie junior correspondents break down two teams that took their 2020 bow this month: Emelec and FK Vazdovac
